June 11, 2020 No Comments

How to Get What You Want



Goals allow us to create our future in advance and enable us to get what we want. They allow us to envision our destiny and, in turn, shape our lives. They give us direction and hope.

Are you in control of your life ? or events are controlling you? The amount of stress is directly proportional to how in control you feel about your life. As the stress piles up, confidence slips down even further. You feel like you’re a spectator in your own life, helpless to do anything but watch as things happen to you.

There’s a way to change that. If you want to stop letting other things control you, then you need to take control of your own mind. It’s all about reshaping the way you think about yourself and your life. If you’re ready to make that change in your life and regain control of your direction, the best thing you can do is set a direction, a vision for yourself.

When you begin to feel adrift in life, get back to basics – the life and career that would bring you lasting contentment. Find honest answers to questions like: What does your ideal life look like? What do you most want to leave behind when all is said and done? What’s your vision, your dream? That’s what you need to fix at the forefront of your mind. When you focus on vision instead of everything going on around you, you’ll sharpen your ability to get what you want and make yourself more resilient against the bleak thoughts that can crowd your mind when you’re stressed out.

Who are you? – a Creator or merely a Manager?

What we focus on has a significant effect on how we feel. If you focus on the things you cannot control, such as the past, all the things you have failed at, or odds stacked up against you, it’s easy to lose your vision. We have all been there – life seems to crush something that you were excited about, or someone betrays you, or you betray yourself.

Once you let yourself think in that way, the stress will creep in, clouding your vision. You will soon feel overwhelmed and even depressed. This is the origin of that loss of control, that sense that you are not in command of your own life. When you do not consistently focus on vision, you are a manager, an operator – not a creator.

Unleash the Power Within

Failing to get what you want in life is highly frustrating. You feel that you are not living up to your potential, values, and passions. The solution, as usual, lies in the problem statement itself. You ought to know what you want.  It’s a fundamental key to all lifelong success plans.

Goals allow us to create our future in advance and enable us to get what we want. They allow us to envision our destiny and, in turn, shape our lives. They give us direction and hope.

Undivided Attention makes Fulfillment Easier

Whatever one puts attention on, grows in their life. Undivided Focussed attention on a thing, makes it grow and its fulfillment easier. But, divided attention on many things diffuses this power exponentially and results in significantly reduced chances of fulfilling any.

Set Meaningful Goals – Vision for Yourself

The act of setting goals and the thought we put into crafting them directs our attention to the why, how, and what of our aspirations. As such, they give us something to focus on and impact positively on our motivation.

Meaningful goals are those which create emotion and drive inside of you. They spur you to grow and expand. Not only do they spark a sense of hunger inside you, but they allow the other areas of your life to thrive as well as you pursue your ultimate vision.

If you want a meaningful life, then you must create goals that are compelling enough to draw these emotions out of you.

Write Down – “What”

Write your goals down – not on a computer, but on paper or in a notebook. There’s something that happens when we write something down on a physical piece of paper. You are acknowledging both to your conscious and subconscious minds that where you are right now is not where you want to be. Your brain then makes this distinction and becomes dissatisfied with the status quo spurring you to act.

One of the strongest motivators is a sense of discontentment. Tension and pressure serve as powerful drivers of our actions. Learning how to get what you want becomes a strategy instead of just a dream.

Focus on “Why” – the Purpose

Now, get crystal clear. Write out the details: How would achieving this goal make you feel? What would it mean to you to get what you want? How will it change your life for the better? What lies underneath your surface aspirations?

Knowing this purpose will help keep you laser-focused, and it will help get you through the rough times. If you create a strong enough “why” to keep you going, you will have the fuel to endure anything that comes your way.

Ignore “How” – Nature will guide you.

It’s perfectly okay to have no idea how to get there. And it’s perfectly okay to set goals that go beyond your present ability or skill. What’s important here is that you operate from a place of absolute self-belief and self-faith.

Frame your goals with absolute certainty, without any iota of doubt – that no matter what, you will find a way to make it happen. This is crucial for accomplishing your goals. Even if it seems impossible to you now, you know in your core that you can pull it off. When you have that fundamental belief, you will be taking back control of your life. So even though you may not be able to control the outside world or the challenges that come your way, you know that you will persevere and overcome. It is this self-belief, self-trust that spurs nature to help you.

Many people give up because they focus on the outcome and then stop and tell themselves, “I don’t know how to do that” or “I could never achieve that.” Or they fail along the way and decide to quit because it seems easier than trying again.

What if you didn’t have to figure out how to get what you want, but rather believe that you will figure it out no matter what? That achieving your goal is not only within the realm of possibilities, it is an absolute certainty? Just imagine how that could change your life right now.

Rank your Important Goals

Prioritization is about ranking the importance and criticality among the chosen goals. Goals that are most worthy of your energy—what would make you happiest? What’s most meaningful to you personally, in terms of your values?

It is about conflict resolution in scenarios where you have to choose between two goals in your list. Which one will stand and which one will give way. What is that you are willing to let go versus not. This enables mental clarity, consistency in choices. Decision making becomes science. Righteousness becomes a way of thinking.

Good/Bad, Right/Wrong

Good, Bad, or evil, right or wrong are indicative of a direction concerning the target. Right is a direction that takes you closer to the target while wrong takes you farther away. Similarly, good, better, best is indicative of the extent of the righteousness of the direction.

Wants and Wishes

A multiplicity of wants makes it difficult to plan for everything, necessitating a criterion for classification. There are two commonly used sets of terms viz needs, desires, aspirations, or demands, wants, and wishes.  Often, we feel that what we need is what we desire and what we desire is what we need. This is the confusion in the minds of many people as they feel that needs and desires are synonyms and can be used interchangeably.

Needs refer to those that are necessary for survival. On the other hand, desires refer to those that people want in life although there is no threat to survival.

  • Needs are characterized by physiological, urgent, deals with one’s survival and safety.
  • Desired are characterized by psychological, mid to long term, deals with self-worth and identity in the group and society.
  • Aspirations are characterized by life-long, spiritual, self-actualization oriented.

Goal setting is a must for fulfilling aspirations and desires. While desires are many, aspirations are fewer. Aspirations should be narrowed down to one last wish, the one that you will wish to fulfill when Yamaraj (god of death) grants you a boon to fulfill one last wish before dying. Or your company grants you a wish to fulfill one last wish before you retire. Nice if the life-wish and career-wish are congruent with each.

Good/ Bad Desires: Congruent/ Incongruent

Desires which are in congruence with your aspiration are worthy, whereas other incongruent desires should be consciously avoided or toned down else fulfilling the aspiration becomes doubtful. This top-down approach is easier as it enables easier funneling of desires.

Use the life goal and career goal to check the congruence.

Practical Approach:

One practical approach is to assume as if God has granted you a wish to paint a rosy picture of your desired life. How such a picture will look like? What does it contain? And what it does not. Similarly, introspect the worst possible hellish scenario at the end the life (or at retirement). With these two painted scenarios, one can develop a list of do’s and don’t objectives.

Don’t Procrastinate

Setting inspiring goals is the first step to get out of the rut that you believe you are into. Goals are akin to GPS coordinates to locate an address precisely, a flag in a golf course identifying a hole precisely.

Time and attention are the only real currencies of life. How time is spent determines the quality of life. How attention is spent determines the quality of time. Having more time means nothing if attention is squandered.

In case you are still procrastinating, contrary to your thinking, you are contented with life.  Nothing else can be better. Continue to enjoy it.


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